Annoyed

Today's weigh in made me realize that yes, I do in fact need to get back to the gym. Only lost 0.5 lbs. I am trying to accentuate the positive in that I went through some pretty major medical crap the last few days and I'm just happy I didn't gain anything.

This week, plan is to walk at lunch time for at least 30 minutes and then go to the gym at least 3x this week.

More to come after I'm not so grumbly.

When did grapes become so sweet?

Its amazing what happens when you cut out processed foods from your diet. Your taste for sugar becomes SUPER sensitive. I've been eating 'whole foods' for about 2 weeks straight now (AKA: non processed foods that come straight from the animal or straight from the vine/ground/stalk) and it really surprised me how much sweeter all of the fruits I was eating really are. I'm guessing this is because sugar or some form of it (corn syrup, sucrose, etc.) is in a lot of the food I used to eat that wasn't sweet, like those Lean Cuisines and SmartOnes, which  are great for the convenience factor, but full of chemicals and additives you don't need. We will see tomorrow if this whole exercise is paying off with the weekly weigh in.

Don't worry, I haven't completely gone earthy crunchy on you, and I'm not saying I don't crave cheesecake or potato chips on a regular basis, but it does make you think.

Oh, and to the lovely ladies who may or may not be reading this blog, thinking about their own health journey, MORE RECIPES TO COME THIS WEEKEND!

Where MB officially goes low carb

I have decided that after this week, no more bread will live in my cupboard. After last week's success (on the scale and generally feeling like I had more energy, less tummy problems, etc.) I think there might be something to this whole low carb thing. Filling my diet with lean protein, vegetables, and fruits and the occasional sweet treat (read low fat pudding cup) seems to leave me satisfied and not wanting to stuff my face.

I also have to work on my relationship with food. After a hard week, all I wanted to do was go to the Cheesecake Factory and get something tasty. Now, I have to think of food more as fuel and eat things that will nourish me, not just taste good (though I'm hoping that the two won't be mutually exclusive). That being said, the one other person who has read this blog suggested that I post recipes for things that I like to eat and that are good for me.

Roasted Garlic Cauliflower

Cauliflower is low in fat, low in carbohydrates but high in dietary fiber, folate, water, and vitamin C.
Most people think it's gross, but trust me, if you like garlic, this will change your mind about the brain-like vegetable know a C-flower, in the 'hood of course.

1 head Cauliflower, chopped into 1/2-1 inch pieces
7-8 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Heat oven to 500 degrees. Toss all ingredients together and place on a cookie sheet (or shallow baking dish). Roast in the oven for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, and then reduce the oven temperature to 450 and roast for an additional 10-15 minutes or until the cauliflower is light brown, stirring occasionally 

Don't get scared. The garlic will smell like its burning. It will be, sort of. It will get crunchy and salty and delicious. Your house will smell like garlicky popcorn, and you'll get a low carb, awesome side dish.

Weight Watchers Yelled at Me...

So, I weigh myself on Friday. This is a little psychological trick I play on myself, because seeing the scale go down immediately prior to the weekend lessens the urge to stuff my face with cheeseburgers when left to my own devices for 48 whole hours. Work days are my friend, as the structure is such that I can't snack all day, because I only bring so much food to work.

So today, I lost 4 lbs. Huzzah! I go into my online WW tracker, enter my new weight, and wait for the "Congratulations, you're 4 lbs closer to not being a fat ass" message to pop up...

And it doesn't.

Instead, I get chastised for losing weight too quickly. Sorry WW that I am basically doing the paleo diet on your program (and still staying in my points range, and having only tapped into my reserve points 1 day this week) and the weight is falling off. I haven't even really started going to the gym regularly, so watch out. That scale might read 5 lbs lower next week, and you. can. suck. it.

I feel like this is counterintuitive. I know that you're not supposed to lose 15 lbs in a week, but c'mon. I'm going in the right direction! 

So, feeling self righteous, I will continue to eat clean this weekend, not get the Cheesecake Factory dessert that I so desperately want, and get the pedicure I deserve.

And when I hit 20lbs down, its NEW PHONE TIME.

I made the mistake of looking back at my old Weight Watchers graphs today.

I was almost 70 lbs lighter just a few years ago. How did this happen?

I know, I know. 2 major moves, 1 bad breakup, and several new jobs/life transitions later, I should cut myself some slack. But I'm beginning to wonder how I even did it the first time. How did I have that discipline to work out 4-5 times a week, follow a diet regimen religiously, and still maintain my sanity?

I think it was because I had a network of people rooting for me, helping me, supporting me, and I don't have that hear. That's the hardest part.  I don't know how I will find that network of people, but I need to start finding the motivation to get moving again. Really moving. Like, an hour at the gym a day moving.

So, the news is in... down 2.7 lbs this week, my first week, back on Weight Watchers.

I am going to be brave and post some before pictures so I can track my progress. Please be kind, but I need this sort of external motivation.

I've decided that once I lose 20 lbs I will join Crossfit. I need to detox my body before I go into crazy workout mode. I figured 3-4 weeks of eating well will give me the fuel I need to kick some ass.

That being said, its a big race weekend. 4 races over 48 hours. I may or may not call out on Monday. :)

On a minor health related note, Mr. Mosquito has reinhabited my room, as I woke up with 5 fresh new bug bites today. Gross.

Because I am an apparent masochist, I weighed myself this morning. Down a pound already, after only a few days! This is good for the motivation factor that's for sure.

Tonight I have my free intro/info session at Crossfit San Mateo and I am scaarrrred. Mostly because I think I need to get into slightly better shape than I am not in order to not die during their WODs (workout of the day, for you newbies). We will see what they think, and I'll go from there. I also made the mistake of watching the Crossfit games on ESPN from 2011 and I know I can't climb a gym rope or clean and jerk 125lbs.... but that will come in time I am sure. In the meantime, I will continue to focus on what goes into my face, build up my strength and endurance through some non insane gym trips, and power through.

Damn produce is expensive.

So instead of going to the gym yesterday, I decided it would be a much more effective use of my time to go through my cupboards and fridge and get rid of all the crap I shouldn't eat, and then, go to the store and fill it will good things. This made me realize, once again, that it is in fact sometimes cheaper to eat poorly out than to eat good in.

I spent over $100 on food. FOR ME. I bought lots of veggies (spinach, romaine, avocados, onions, kale, peppers, mushrooms), fruit, whole grain delights, lean protein, greek yogurt, and stocked up on some spices, but nothing too terribly extravagant. I then realized why America is obese - far easier to get the buy 2 get 2 free chips than spend $5 on peppers. And I live in the cradle of all things produce: there is never a time when  produce is out of season, and its still costing me an ovary to get food.

That being said, I am on the road. New rule is that I will eat clean during the week and give myself a break on the weekends, since I will be sailing on Saturdays and usually come home to pass out anyway, and Sundays are typically work/prep for the week days, so I don't have the urge to stress eat like I do after work. And, having been through this before, you realize that by eating clean 5 of 7 days, if you eat like crap on the weekends, your body will let you know, and that's the best deterrent.

Tonight's menu looks like a nice low fat, high protein tuna salad recipe I found with a side of hummus and peppers, and maybe a little Skinny Cow treat for dessert. I forgot how much I like the structure of logging and tracking my food through WW, and that by planning good food, I look forward to eating it all that much more.

This weekend's tasks: sail, sleep, go for a few long walks, eat well, prepare some food for the week ahead, and mentally prepare for my intro session to Crossfit Monday at 6pm. I am sure that there will be some sort of story after THAT experience.

I am officially restarting this blog.

After months of feeling downtrodden, completely stressed out, and gaining back the 70ish pounds that I lost between 2009-2011, I decided enough was enough. I don't even care what size or what weight I am. I want my strength back.

I took some important first steps today:

1. Cancelled by current gym membership. It was a waste of money as I never went, and as much as it was close to my house, I usually talked myself out of a workout on the 45 minute drive between San Jose and San Mateo
2. Joined the gym on campus. Cheaper, has a pool, and I can get workouts in during lunch or right after work when I don't have the time to convince myself that I am too tired for 30 minutes on the elliptical
3. Contacted CrossFit in San Mateo to set up an introductory session. See Wikipedia  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CrossFit
1. Just as an FYI, this will either be the greatest thing I've ever done for myself, or I will be hospitalized after the first session. 
4. Rejoined Weight Watchers. You might laugh, but this program works. I need to figure out how to get back to eating right, feeling good, and using food as fuel for performance and not as therapy after a hard day.

I feel very alone in my weight loss journey, but that is not necessary a bad thing. The bad thing is that there isn't a lot of empathy or soul displayed along the way to getting fit. 

The goal for this blog is to figure out a way to make people (most of all, myself) realize that feeling strong and feeling good aren't mutually exclusive, and that its not about setting limits, its about breaking them.

I know, I sound like a self help guru already. That's another thing I've struggled with: I know what to say. I just need TO GET OFF MY BUTT AND DO IT.

Anyone who wants to jump in and participate in any of the activities that I have going on, let me know. But realize that I'm doing this for me, and you should be doing it for you too. Because we're all worth getting out of bed in the morning feeling strong, powerful, focused, and GREAT.