Where I cried on the scale, for a good reason...

I didn't lose anything last week, except a little more of my sanity. Today, at my weekly weight in, I REMOVED 3 pounds!! Tears came out of nowhere, mostly because I worked so hard at the gym and didn't stray from the program. I had a ton of activity points (71) and only used 8 of my bonus points, because I knew that I had worked hard and my body needed FUEL, and didn't use those bonus points on treats.

I am starting to say remove, like my old Weight Watchers meeting leader. She was a crazy feisty black lady who lost a ton of weight (everywhere but her face, with did have a little lady-stache, but bless her heart) who would say "You didn't LOSE that weight. Losin' it makes it sound like you're looking to find it again." It makes me laugh, and helps me on those weigh in days, where I have to tell myself, OUT LOUD, if I don't lose weight this week, I am still healthier and happier, so that's what matters.

This weekend will be filled with paper writing and school work, but I have become better at carving out time to work out. Also, amazingly enough, I am not nearly as tired as I was before, so I get up at 8-9am even on a weekend, and can catch that bargain matinee for $6.50 and be done at 1pm, with plenty of time to do all of the productive things I need to do, including going to the gym.

This week's goal : lose 2lbs, start swimming (need to keep the variety in my workout regimen), try to make a 6pm spinning class, and KEEP WALKING/CYCLING AT WORK.

Love to all.

Desk Bike - Round 1

So I got my desk bike last week, and decided to incorporate it into my workout routine this week. Its sort of addicting, but only after I found the right chair to use it with (rolly chair x pedaling = sliiiiiding backwards). 10:09 minutes and I burned 114 calories. Apparently, my legs have gotten much stronger in the last few weeks as I was able to do 10 minutes with pretty high resistance. 

My goal is to do this 3-4 times a day for 10 minutes, to sort of break up the day, and also to try and avoid the ever dreaded desk leg syndrome, wherein your legs and feet are totally stiffed and cramped after sitting for a few hours.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Mapwalk.com = life

This is the greatest fitness app of the week.

http://www.mapwalk.com/

You can draw out your route, enter your weight/pace, and figure out how long you've walked and how many calories you've burned.

This. Is. Awesome!

Try it out. Hopefully they have a mobile app too!

0 lbs lost

I am trying to tell myself that I didnt lose weight this week because I started working out and I'm gaining muscle mass.

Its not working.

More to come. Stuffing my face with cruciferous vegetables to drown my sorrows.

I miss you carbs

I am always on the look out for recreations of recipes that I love. Its getting to be Fall here in the Bay are (yes, we have a 'fall') and that always makes me want to eat warm bowls of steaming hot carbs. Since pasta is no longer on the approved list, I found a great recipe for PALEO CARBONARA.

It sounds so delicious, if I wasn't already dead tired, I'd go to the store right after work and get all the ingredients to make it. Instead, I will eat what I already have and use this delightful treat as motivation to get through as much of my homework this weekend as possible.

http://paleoparents.com/featured/spaghetti-squash-alla-carbonara/

Tell me that just doesnt look DIRTY!

Inspiration Abounds

Just wanted to start off by saying for any/all 3 of you who read this blog, you provide me with motivation and inspiration every single day to stay on this health journey. Even when I wake up in the middle of the night dreaming of eating Oreo cream from a bowl (no joke). 

I am participating in a walking group at work as part of the Thrive Across America program, sponsored by Kaiser Permanente I believe. Since my employees are super competitive (gee, I wonder whose example they're following....), we are each striving to do 60 minutes of physical activity EVERY DAY, the majority of which is done in the form of walking the campus loop, which provides between 30-40 minutes of activity at lunch every day. This is invigorating for me; the fresh air, getting out of the office, its like a mini Zen endorphin break in the middle of the day. It's also helped keep me, along with WW, motivated to log my physical activity as other people are counting on me to do my part, and that seems to be a much better motivator than just being out there on my own. 

The desire for variety and multitasking (as some day it will start to rain here and I may not be able to go walk around for 40 minutes and sit at my desk like a wet dog for the rest of the day, caused me to make what I've dubbed an "impulse wellness purchase" or IWP. I got a desk bike. No, not a desk attached to a bike, but rather a bike you can pedal under your desk at work. 

http://www.amazon.com/MagneTrainer-ER-Mini-Exercise-Bike-Exerciser/dp/B000V53KD8/ref=sr_1_5?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1349886312&sr=1-5&keywords=desk+bike

One of my coworkers is using this as her 60 minutes of activity, and since I'm trying to find different ways to burn calories and alleviate the calf/foot pain I experience after sitting at a desk all day, it seemed like a great idea. It comes in the mail today and I am super geeked about it. Hopefully, it'll help those pounds come off a smidgen faster, and give me the legs I had in high school and college (thank you marching band... shut up haters).

This weekend marks the first real "outing" that I will participate in since I've gone dairy/bread/complex carbs/essentially gluten free. My sailing people and I are going to the end of season celebration for the Interclub Race Series (WHICH WE WON!) over in Alameda, and I need to give myself a peptalk before I get there: Stick with meat and veggies, avoid sauce, NO ALCOHOL. Maybe half of a dessert (because you're doing well and its been ages and the closest thing you've had to dessert lately is the handful of chocolate covered walnuts about 3 weeks ago). The advantage of weighing myself Friday morning is that I know how good I need to be over the weekend, or if its ok to splurge for a Junior popcorn at the movies or not go nuts at the gym, but instead go for a nice long walk. I'll let you know how I do.

I'm hoping that this whole diet thing doesn't make me a hermit; I think this will be a good chance for me to get out of the house/office and socialize with people. Unfortunately, it seems like in our society socializing = eating/drinking things that aren't good for you, and I am determined to avoid that trap and have a good time regardless of whatever peer pressure I might sustain to have a glass of wine. I'm thinking I'll ask for a seltzer with a lime wedge over ice and no one will know the difference. 

I am so crafty.

10% of goal

So, my goal is to lose 100 lbs. I know. I know. Seems impossible right? Well I have decided, since I want to lose 100, that every pound I lose is 1% close to my goal weight. This makes it seem a lot less intimidating, and makes me realize that every little bit does help.

This week I kicked it into high gear with the exercise. Have gone 4 times since last Saturday, with the 5th and 6th times today and tomorrow. Also, we've started a walking group in my office where we commit to 60 minutes of activity per day. There's a prize for the team that does the most activity, and we are so competitive this seemed like a great way to incentivize being active.

At 10% of my goal (OK, 10.5% but who's counting?) I decided I'd make a few investments to help me get active. 1) I bought new crosstraining shoes (since my running shoes are not good for anything other than running) and 2) Will buy a mini desk exercise bike (http://www.amazon.com/MagneTrainer-ER-Mini-Exercise-Bike-Exerciser/dp/B000V53KD8/ref=pd_sbs_sg_4) This will keep me from feeling like my calves are going to tear off every time I go to get up, will keep me loose, and give me the option to get some activity during my (mostly) sedientary day at my desk. Plus, every little bit helps, and if I use this bike for even 30 minutes a day, that could be 100-200 calories burned, and that really adds up.

This weekend will be my first trip "out" since I've started this diet/Paleo. I am going to dinner at a Mexican restaurant and so my plan is to order steak/chicken fajitas, extra veggies, no rice/beans/tortillas, guacamole and salsa. I'll let you know how it goes!

Annoyed

Today's weigh in made me realize that yes, I do in fact need to get back to the gym. Only lost 0.5 lbs. I am trying to accentuate the positive in that I went through some pretty major medical crap the last few days and I'm just happy I didn't gain anything.

This week, plan is to walk at lunch time for at least 30 minutes and then go to the gym at least 3x this week.

More to come after I'm not so grumbly.

When did grapes become so sweet?

Its amazing what happens when you cut out processed foods from your diet. Your taste for sugar becomes SUPER sensitive. I've been eating 'whole foods' for about 2 weeks straight now (AKA: non processed foods that come straight from the animal or straight from the vine/ground/stalk) and it really surprised me how much sweeter all of the fruits I was eating really are. I'm guessing this is because sugar or some form of it (corn syrup, sucrose, etc.) is in a lot of the food I used to eat that wasn't sweet, like those Lean Cuisines and SmartOnes, which  are great for the convenience factor, but full of chemicals and additives you don't need. We will see tomorrow if this whole exercise is paying off with the weekly weigh in.

Don't worry, I haven't completely gone earthy crunchy on you, and I'm not saying I don't crave cheesecake or potato chips on a regular basis, but it does make you think.

Oh, and to the lovely ladies who may or may not be reading this blog, thinking about their own health journey, MORE RECIPES TO COME THIS WEEKEND!

Where MB officially goes low carb

I have decided that after this week, no more bread will live in my cupboard. After last week's success (on the scale and generally feeling like I had more energy, less tummy problems, etc.) I think there might be something to this whole low carb thing. Filling my diet with lean protein, vegetables, and fruits and the occasional sweet treat (read low fat pudding cup) seems to leave me satisfied and not wanting to stuff my face.

I also have to work on my relationship with food. After a hard week, all I wanted to do was go to the Cheesecake Factory and get something tasty. Now, I have to think of food more as fuel and eat things that will nourish me, not just taste good (though I'm hoping that the two won't be mutually exclusive). That being said, the one other person who has read this blog suggested that I post recipes for things that I like to eat and that are good for me.

Roasted Garlic Cauliflower

Cauliflower is low in fat, low in carbohydrates but high in dietary fiber, folate, water, and vitamin C.
Most people think it's gross, but trust me, if you like garlic, this will change your mind about the brain-like vegetable know a C-flower, in the 'hood of course.

1 head Cauliflower, chopped into 1/2-1 inch pieces
7-8 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Heat oven to 500 degrees. Toss all ingredients together and place on a cookie sheet (or shallow baking dish). Roast in the oven for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, and then reduce the oven temperature to 450 and roast for an additional 10-15 minutes or until the cauliflower is light brown, stirring occasionally 

Don't get scared. The garlic will smell like its burning. It will be, sort of. It will get crunchy and salty and delicious. Your house will smell like garlicky popcorn, and you'll get a low carb, awesome side dish.

Weight Watchers Yelled at Me...

So, I weigh myself on Friday. This is a little psychological trick I play on myself, because seeing the scale go down immediately prior to the weekend lessens the urge to stuff my face with cheeseburgers when left to my own devices for 48 whole hours. Work days are my friend, as the structure is such that I can't snack all day, because I only bring so much food to work.

So today, I lost 4 lbs. Huzzah! I go into my online WW tracker, enter my new weight, and wait for the "Congratulations, you're 4 lbs closer to not being a fat ass" message to pop up...

And it doesn't.

Instead, I get chastised for losing weight too quickly. Sorry WW that I am basically doing the paleo diet on your program (and still staying in my points range, and having only tapped into my reserve points 1 day this week) and the weight is falling off. I haven't even really started going to the gym regularly, so watch out. That scale might read 5 lbs lower next week, and you. can. suck. it.

I feel like this is counterintuitive. I know that you're not supposed to lose 15 lbs in a week, but c'mon. I'm going in the right direction! 

So, feeling self righteous, I will continue to eat clean this weekend, not get the Cheesecake Factory dessert that I so desperately want, and get the pedicure I deserve.

And when I hit 20lbs down, its NEW PHONE TIME.

I made the mistake of looking back at my old Weight Watchers graphs today.

I was almost 70 lbs lighter just a few years ago. How did this happen?

I know, I know. 2 major moves, 1 bad breakup, and several new jobs/life transitions later, I should cut myself some slack. But I'm beginning to wonder how I even did it the first time. How did I have that discipline to work out 4-5 times a week, follow a diet regimen religiously, and still maintain my sanity?

I think it was because I had a network of people rooting for me, helping me, supporting me, and I don't have that hear. That's the hardest part.  I don't know how I will find that network of people, but I need to start finding the motivation to get moving again. Really moving. Like, an hour at the gym a day moving.

So, the news is in... down 2.7 lbs this week, my first week, back on Weight Watchers.

I am going to be brave and post some before pictures so I can track my progress. Please be kind, but I need this sort of external motivation.

I've decided that once I lose 20 lbs I will join Crossfit. I need to detox my body before I go into crazy workout mode. I figured 3-4 weeks of eating well will give me the fuel I need to kick some ass.

That being said, its a big race weekend. 4 races over 48 hours. I may or may not call out on Monday. :)

On a minor health related note, Mr. Mosquito has reinhabited my room, as I woke up with 5 fresh new bug bites today. Gross.

Because I am an apparent masochist, I weighed myself this morning. Down a pound already, after only a few days! This is good for the motivation factor that's for sure.

Tonight I have my free intro/info session at Crossfit San Mateo and I am scaarrrred. Mostly because I think I need to get into slightly better shape than I am not in order to not die during their WODs (workout of the day, for you newbies). We will see what they think, and I'll go from there. I also made the mistake of watching the Crossfit games on ESPN from 2011 and I know I can't climb a gym rope or clean and jerk 125lbs.... but that will come in time I am sure. In the meantime, I will continue to focus on what goes into my face, build up my strength and endurance through some non insane gym trips, and power through.

Damn produce is expensive.

So instead of going to the gym yesterday, I decided it would be a much more effective use of my time to go through my cupboards and fridge and get rid of all the crap I shouldn't eat, and then, go to the store and fill it will good things. This made me realize, once again, that it is in fact sometimes cheaper to eat poorly out than to eat good in.

I spent over $100 on food. FOR ME. I bought lots of veggies (spinach, romaine, avocados, onions, kale, peppers, mushrooms), fruit, whole grain delights, lean protein, greek yogurt, and stocked up on some spices, but nothing too terribly extravagant. I then realized why America is obese - far easier to get the buy 2 get 2 free chips than spend $5 on peppers. And I live in the cradle of all things produce: there is never a time when  produce is out of season, and its still costing me an ovary to get food.

That being said, I am on the road. New rule is that I will eat clean during the week and give myself a break on the weekends, since I will be sailing on Saturdays and usually come home to pass out anyway, and Sundays are typically work/prep for the week days, so I don't have the urge to stress eat like I do after work. And, having been through this before, you realize that by eating clean 5 of 7 days, if you eat like crap on the weekends, your body will let you know, and that's the best deterrent.

Tonight's menu looks like a nice low fat, high protein tuna salad recipe I found with a side of hummus and peppers, and maybe a little Skinny Cow treat for dessert. I forgot how much I like the structure of logging and tracking my food through WW, and that by planning good food, I look forward to eating it all that much more.

This weekend's tasks: sail, sleep, go for a few long walks, eat well, prepare some food for the week ahead, and mentally prepare for my intro session to Crossfit Monday at 6pm. I am sure that there will be some sort of story after THAT experience.

I am officially restarting this blog.

After months of feeling downtrodden, completely stressed out, and gaining back the 70ish pounds that I lost between 2009-2011, I decided enough was enough. I don't even care what size or what weight I am. I want my strength back.

I took some important first steps today:

1. Cancelled by current gym membership. It was a waste of money as I never went, and as much as it was close to my house, I usually talked myself out of a workout on the 45 minute drive between San Jose and San Mateo
2. Joined the gym on campus. Cheaper, has a pool, and I can get workouts in during lunch or right after work when I don't have the time to convince myself that I am too tired for 30 minutes on the elliptical
3. Contacted CrossFit in San Mateo to set up an introductory session. See Wikipedia  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CrossFit
1. Just as an FYI, this will either be the greatest thing I've ever done for myself, or I will be hospitalized after the first session. 
4. Rejoined Weight Watchers. You might laugh, but this program works. I need to figure out how to get back to eating right, feeling good, and using food as fuel for performance and not as therapy after a hard day.

I feel very alone in my weight loss journey, but that is not necessary a bad thing. The bad thing is that there isn't a lot of empathy or soul displayed along the way to getting fit. 

The goal for this blog is to figure out a way to make people (most of all, myself) realize that feeling strong and feeling good aren't mutually exclusive, and that its not about setting limits, its about breaking them.

I know, I sound like a self help guru already. That's another thing I've struggled with: I know what to say. I just need TO GET OFF MY BUTT AND DO IT.

Anyone who wants to jump in and participate in any of the activities that I have going on, let me know. But realize that I'm doing this for me, and you should be doing it for you too. Because we're all worth getting out of bed in the morning feeling strong, powerful, focused, and GREAT.